“Lakshman lakshman lakshman ong ong lakshman. Now shake your hips as fast as you can, imagine gold, and let your kundalini rise! … Keep Reading
You can tell a lot about a Ho by her Christmas tree. From black angels up-top to Pottery Barn down below, there are three types of Christmas Ho’s.
Note: Don’t get a Christmas Ho twiest with a Tinder Hoe. Tres diferente!
Disclaimer: If you don’t identify with the Three Ho’s of Christmas, then you simply aren’t a ho. Nice job!👍🏾Maybe…
Other Note: Ho’s can me a combination of Ho’s and men can be Ho’s too.
“Lakshman lakshman lakshman ong ong lakshman. Now shake your hips as fast as you can, imagine gold, and let your kundalini rise! Chant this to get rich in 2017.” preached a white blonde “guru” sitting on a golden throne wearing a white turban.
In the dark, I hypnotically moved my body, my arms swung from side to side and I imaged money pouring down. The freedom to just move compulsively, to reach wide and fast and sensual as I felt, plus it was gonna get rich. I had become a hindu God, Ganesh, with slithering arms and an elephant’s trunk defying gravity. Every time I said the mantra “lakshman,” I could take myself into this mythological cave world filled with mountains of gold and the luck of the Irish.
Boom. Indian God in Ireland. Boom, I’m gonna get rich.
Laksham! 2017 Laksham! 2018 Laksham! Am I rich yet?
New Years Eve, the most lonely night of the year.
I kept saying, “I’m not a butt girl.” as if I wasn’t good enough.
Gentleman don’t prefer blondes, they prefer butt girls.
Firstly, a butt girl MUST have an instagram account. A butt girl is a chick with a really hot body who has an instagram account that look just like every other gorgeous butt girl and yet you can’t look away. She has the thigh gap, tan skin, gorgeous other butt-girl friends, a perfect looking family, and all her photos consist of her butt, her model face, the beach, and her fabulous jet-set life. The thing is, although everyone already knows instagram profiles are curated and real life isn’t like the photos, you can’t help but want that butt girl’s fucking fabulous digital life. She’s got it all?
Breaking Bullshit: While you traded digital currency for digital products during this oh-so-record breaking cyber weekend with your visa cards, bitcoin quadrupled,🤑 and smart people made money while you bought shit you’re going to throw in the street a year from now. If you invested the amount you spent over the weekend on bitcoin, you’d be thanking us here at TLG.
REAL News! The first AI female Robot inappropriately grabbed a man by the balls because it was programed with slang terms and took it a little too literal! #BoycottAI #theNewHarveryWinestein #Humanists #hideyourHusbands
30 something-year-olds take their followers, likers, and story views equally as serious as millennials; they just pretend to not care. There is an endangered breed of 30-somethings are not phased by likes, followers, and story lurkers. If you are this minority, then you are secretly admired by selfie addicts and phone mirror users. The fact is, social media likes and follows send a message and it is indeed THE new form of communication and people who communicate via social media coward away from talking about their new language. How do you understand a language if you don’t begin to study it? Millennials are already engrained to knowing this shit matters, so it’s the moment to make it an unfiltered conversation. It’s not just that likes send a oxytocin filled rush to the brain, it’s that likes and follows send a social message if you are in or out of someone’s artificial circle. Yes fake friends are real, but real friends now communicate in the passive aggressive digi space too and REAL FRIENDS, you are being called the fuck out right now. If your way of communicating with people you care about is through social media and if you think you’re caught up on your friends’ lives because you tune-in to their channels, then you kinda suck. You too are what is wrong with culture today. Keep Reading
Do you know what happens in 100 days?
Your life happens.
And that is everything.
100 days ago, I believed red sparkly shoes and take me home mantras could send you to Kansas, I’ve always believed that, but there is no language that can vocalize what bubbles have floated down, melted away, and manifested. I am dreaming and everything is real. There is no place like now.
In 100 Days I found my courage, my brain, and my heart. Follow your own road. 🌈
You ARE the Wizard you seek.
The Mayans believed mirrors opened portals to the Otherworld, and American’s don’t give a fuck what the Mayan’s believed. In ancient tall-tale, mirrors allowed souls and saints to leave their bodies and pass between two dimensions. Traditionally, a mirror would be settled in front of a saint’s statue to assist wondering O.G. Casper in recognizing his cute pale body when he was done ghosting chicks and be able to zap right back into it. 👻 In San Juan Chamula, an old Mayan Chiapas town, you can be sent to jail if you take a photo inside a church as almost all cameras require a mirror within the shutter, which can suck up a soul in an instant! Don’t be a dick, use a mirrorless camera instead! 😜
A well built bridge is like an epic poem of both love and death, doubt and truth, weaved with incomprehensible wordy stanzas. You might pretend to get the poem, but really no one fully gets it except for the author, and that’s the best part. Keep Reading
There is no such thing as unconditional.
What do you wish for? How bad do you want it?
Even a magic genie comes with a price. The genie wishes for his freedom, so he grants two wishes hoping that those magical gifts were enough, but seldom is anything ever enough. That third wish… What is freedom anyways? Are we ever truly free?
Some parents teach their children to be nice to everyone. This is wrong. It’s important to be kind, but teaching a child to be nice to everyone will set them on a path to not knowing when it’s okay to not be nice and when to say no. Children owe niceness to no one.
That’s the phrase all these women are coming out with. Although we need to be careful about ‘trending’ topics and revolting Lord of the Flies style, there’s a tall-tale reason why women are coming out. They weren’t taught to say no, they were told to play nice and to not get on anyone’s bad side if they wanted to pursue their dreams. FUCK PLAYING NICE.
Sexual harassment and abuse is disgusting, but the bigger issue is the abuse of power and why women feel like they owe… this pertains to men too. It’s important to not be man haters when stories of pigs like Harvey Weinstein shit on our Facebook walls.
Families, jobs, friends, and even man’s best friend; something will always be expected of you. Even if you have none of those, you will always have expectations for yourself.
Today, even ‘likes’ and ‘follows’ are conditional. Millennials and even more grown up kids have the ‘I’ll follow you if you follow me’ mentality. Check out the ratio of likes and follows to someone’s Instagram account. Someone will have 10k followers and 50 likes. Oh how we get high off those likes. How did they get those 10k followers? They paid a third party Instagram “bot” to like photos for them so whoever they liked would go to their profile and follow them. These bots will even follow someone until they follow you back and then unfollow them right after. Even computers are conditional. Why do we feel we need fake followers? Does it give us more power than those with less?
Why did an entire industry know Harvey Weinstein was a pig, yet no one truly spoke up? Were they scared to lose their followers? Is that what it’s come down to? Appearing cool, pretty, and famous like everyone else.
Picasso said there are two types of women, goddesses and doormats. He was wrong. There are three. The third is the Warrior. This is the story of my death and how I came back to life. A love story.
Miracles do happen.
Thoughts become things.
Time takes time & time is distance.
Love is everything.
Left knee, right foot.
A warrior must understand the battlefield. There are leaders, there are followers, and there are cowards that will survive due to being at the right place at the right time with the right people. There are idiots and geniuses and life is not fair. A warrior fights for their light in the dark when it appears to have been blown out. A warrior lets pain in and develops their weapon from it. A warrior will always be on the outside because their strength is unparalleled and with this strength comes a duty. A warrior must know both when to cut the weak and when to save them. Patience, tactic, clarity of victory, and most of all deep love are traits that create a warrior.
Life is a constant act of breaking up with yourself, it’s important to let go. To become a warrior, you will have to break up with yourself, your ego, and kill the old you.