As the fall equinox 🍂embarks upon us, on September 21st to be exact, and the nights start to feel like that I-need-someone-to-hold-me-in-dark feeling, you must be weary of two types of people- seasonal cuddle assholes who spoon only in the winter as if they were in a playoff 🏈 and Shapeshifters🐺… They are often one in the same and more dangerous than what Trader Joe’s gluten free pumpkin🎃 muffins do to your butt.🍑

To begin, there are five types of people on this planet🇺🇸🌎. 🤚🏾.

#1s 👆🏽Smart people who know facts and thus govern
#2s ✌🏽Stupid people who pretend to know facts and thus are anti everything
#3s ✌🏽🖕🏽Stupid people who keep their mouths shut and follow the leader, and thus are anti whatever their leader is anti.
#4s 🖖🏽The most dangerous, the Shape-Shifter. They are not pulled by the moonlight🌕, but rather their iPhone light. Both pseudo-smart and pseudo- stupid, they comprehend just enough and use the information they do know to intimidate for the lack of feeling better about what they don’t know. This is called trix and it’s to feel in control and to gain power without having worked as hard as #1s. #4s are gifted at tricking people into thinking they are #1s, setting off a wave of trending panic, and are the a-holes that are all like, “I’m so crypto! I exist on the blockchain! Decentralize yo life you loser!” They say “fuck the dollar, fuck government,” yet crave the dollar so hard. They’re like a knock-off Van Gogh painting at Micheal’s. The brush strokes look real, but there’s no actual texture; no time went into it.
#0s 👌🏽The unicorns🦄, people who have found a way to be totally free – to owe nothing, own nothing, do everything, and answer to no one. KEEP READING👀