“I can’t wait to turn 30!” said no one ever. There’s this van culture thing happening. Cute 20-somethings are living in vans. … KEEP READING👀
After the apocalypse they existed underneath the earth – the Albinos🐁, the once wases, and other erstwhile creatures that evolved into the dark from the last generation above🕳. Dancing in a cave to a found iPhone XX of the past📱and wearing patched up with thing-a-magier parts Beat headphones 🎧charged by the ooze from the old world danced the form of a small girl.
This track goes with the feeling of this article. N*ggas in Paris by Jay Z & Kanye West
She was lit by sporadic sparking electronics fossilized into the earth’s walls. She was jammin’ to some Jay-Z, but had no idea what ‘Ni**as in Paris’ meant. All she knew of Paris was from what she puzzled together by sunken-from-above phones she found along her many adventures in the pitch black and all she knew of Ni**s was she loved every song with the word in it. KEEP READING👀
As the fall equinox 🍂embarks upon us, on September 21st to be exact, and the nights start to feel like that I-need-someone-to-hold-me-in-dark feeling, you must be weary of two types of people- seasonal cuddle assholes who spoon only in the winter as if they were in a playoff 🏈 and Shapeshifters🐺… They are often one in the same and more dangerous than what Trader Joe’s gluten free pumpkin🎃 muffins do to your butt.🍑
To begin, there are five types of people on this planet🇺🇸🌎. 🤚🏾.
#1s 👆🏽Smart people who know facts and thus govern
#2s ✌🏽Stupid people who pretend to know facts and thus are anti everything
#3s ✌🏽🖕🏽Stupid people who keep their mouths shut and follow the leader, and thus are anti whatever their leader is anti.
#4s 🖖🏽The most dangerous, the Shape-Shifter. They are not pulled by the moonlight🌕, but rather their iPhone light. Both pseudo-smart and pseudo- stupid, they comprehend just enough and use the information they do know to intimidate for the lack of feeling better about what they don’t know. This is called trix and it’s to feel in control and to gain power without having worked as hard as #1s. #4s are gifted at tricking people into thinking they are #1s, setting off a wave of trending panic, and are the a-holes that are all like, “I’m so crypto! I exist on the blockchain! Decentralize yo life you loser!” They say “fuck the dollar, fuck government,” yet crave the dollar so hard. They’re like a knock-off Van Gogh painting at Micheal’s. The brush strokes look real, but there’s no actual texture; no time went into it.
#0s 👌🏽The unicorns🦄, people who have found a way to be totally free – to owe nothing, own nothing, do everything, and answer to no one. KEEP READING👀
Imagine if every tall shallow-man-child you knew woke up and was magically turned short for one year. Would they grow into real men? Imagine if short men were tall for a year, would they steam up into asshole lattés☕️ or would they be every single swiper’s dream? If a girl can ask how tall a guy is on an app then a guy has the right to ask what her weight is. Game on.
They come in all shapes and sizes. Their bank accounts will always have a different sum. They drive Mini Coopers, lifted trucks, shiney Mercedes Benz, used Teslas, Ducati’s, fixies, Bird Scooters and prefer a good lease on luxury. A lease is usually favored, you know, so they can trade them in when they wear them out and the miles wrack up. Yes, I’m referring to the overpopulation of assholes. No it’s not just tall men, shorties and woman can be assholes too. I know this because I used to be one. KEEP READING👀