The Last Generation - A Never Ending Store Window. Are you in?

Everything Comes with a Price. Owe nothing to No One. The Human Uncondition.

Published on October 16, 2017 in Die Trying/Inter$t Rate by Mel

There is no such thing as unconditional.

What do you wish for? How bad do you want it?

Even a magic genie comes with a price. The genie wishes for his freedom, so he grants two wishes hoping that those magical gifts were enough, but seldom is anything ever enough. That third wish… What is freedom anyways? Are we ever truly free?

Some parents teach their children to be nice to everyone. This is wrong. It’s important to be kind, but teaching a child to be nice to everyone will set them on a path to not knowing when it’s okay to not be nice and when to say no. Children owe niceness to no one.

Me too.

That’s the phrase all these women are coming out with. Although we need to be careful about ‘trending’ topics and revolting Lord of the Flies style, there’s a tall-tale reason why women are coming out. They weren’t taught to say no, they were told to play nice and to not get on anyone’s bad side if they wanted to pursue their dreams. FUCK PLAYING NICE.

Sexual harassment and abuse is disgusting, but the bigger issue is the abuse of power and why women feel like they owe… this pertains to men too. It’s important to not be man haters when stories of pigs like Harvey Weinstein shit on our Facebook walls.

Families, jobs, friends, and even man’s best friend; something will always be expected of you. Even if you have none of those, you will always have expectations for yourself.

Today, even ‘likes’ and ‘follows’ are conditional. Millennials and even more grown up kids have the ‘I’ll follow you if you follow me’ mentality. Check out the ratio of likes and follows to someone’s Instagram account. Someone will have 10k followers and 50 likes. Oh how we get high off those likes. How did they get those 10k followers? They paid a third party Instagram “bot” to like photos for them so whoever they liked would go to their profile and follow them. These bots will even follow someone until they follow you back and then unfollow them right after. Even computers are conditional. Why do we feel we need fake followers? Does it give us more power than those with less?

Why did an entire industry know Harvey Weinstein was a pig, yet no one truly spoke up? Were they scared to lose their followers? Is that what it’s come down to? Appearing cool, pretty, and famous like everyone else.

Eat or be eaten.

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Mundane Review: Guns, Pumpkins, & Amendments

Published on October 9, 2017 in -★★★.5/Unsatisfied by Mel

trader joe’s, amendments, shooting, gun violence, politics, trending, do nothing, say nothing, freedom, pseudo intellectual, culture, millennial, pumpkin, witches, halloween, the last generation, mel blanchard gong,

Do you know how many amendments there are?

Okay fine, just name the top 5.

You can’t? Can you at least name 5 pumpkin products you can buy at Trader Joe’s right now?

With all the gun rants and pray for Hurricane status updates that do NOTHING at all, The Last Generation has decided to take your mind off of the bullshit everyone pretends to care about but will never act upon. What do people care about? PUMPKINS!

Trader Joe’s nailed the basic bitch market. Pumpkin is crack for bitches.

Trader Joe’s nailed the basic bitch market. Pumpkin is crack for bitches. Note to men, always have a pumpkin spice candle ready to light to set the mood (year around), it will increase your chances of getting laid.

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I put a spell on you! Magic Spell to get a Diamond Ring.

Published on October 8, 2017 in 30/Die Trying/Swipe by Mel

the last generation, mel blanchard gong, women, engaged, wedding, dream wedding, soulmates, diamond ring, culture, dating, swipe, bumble, tinder, black magic, trick or treat, halloween, witches, fake, harry potter, vice, riot, broadly, writer, medium, art, creative director, hocus pocus, little mermaid, ursula, prince charming

I put a spell on you and now you’re mine.

Remember when Ariel gave up her voice just to be with Prince Charming; a man she had met once for like a sec? Imagine what his life would have been like without all that crazy bitch drama of octopussy tricks and under the sea treats.

With Halloween approaching and every basic bitch deciding what multiple-Taylor-Swift-personality she wants to mask herself as for one night, everyone is on the hunt to couple up. Bumble announced that since September their user base has risen by 75%. What is it about the cool breeze and smell of pumpkin spice that makes everyone want to couple up? Loneliness? American Hallmark cards? Or is it simply magic? In your early twenties, they say everyone wants to be single in the summer, does that urge apply in your thirties?… maybe for men. Keep Reading

Deep Conversations with Emojis: Things no one talks about. The pseudo intellectual in us all.

Published on September 25, 2017 in Bitch Be Humble/Unsatisfied by Mel

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The Life of an Unapologetic Asshole & How Nice People Lose… but not always.

Published on September 21, 2017 in Bitch Be Humble/Die Trying/Inter$t Rate/Swipe by Mel

Think about it. Think about an asshole you know, a true asshole. Where is that person is in their life socially and economically? If you’re thinking of someone and they’re an asshole, then that means you’ve identified something they’ve done to you or to others that’s dickish and fucked up. Good news is you’ve adapted in some way from them, and you’re asshole senses have become more equipped to spot that jackal in disguise. But with every asshole you experience, does it change you? Can we learn from assholes?

What makes an asshole? Another asshole. Keep Reading

A Coming of Present. 🎂 The present is the present. Let them eat Funtetti.

Published on September 15, 2017 in 30/Bitch Be Humble/Inter$t Rate by Mel

Peculiar thoughts about the word “present”.

In the 4^th Century, when Constantine banished the demons from his dark soul and let God into Rome and Christians became persecutors that outlawed all other forms of belief by torturing green garland hangers and incense burners, birthdays were outlawed and deemed evil (by Christians). How could you celebrate a life that was born with “original sin?” Pagan astrology and the celebration of an ego was sinful. For whatever reason, Christians changed their minds so they could celebrate Christmas, the birth of Jesus. Prior, ancient Egyptians celebrated the birth of Pharaohs because Pharaohs were considered gods. Pagan Romans were the first to celebrate the birth of the common MAN, especially those in government. Keep Reading

A Social Death: A man obsessed with Facebook, drank a magic potion and died on Facebook.

Published on September 13, 2017 in Bitch Be Humble/Die Trying by Mel

loner, the last generation, christmas, alien , tlg, facebook, social media, trending, fake friends, fakenews, death, als, assisted suicide, funeral, suicide, disease, simple man, mel blanchard gong, john nordlinger, fairytale, happily ever after, millennials, end of the world, generation, twisted, dark, vixen, fantasy

John Nordlinger’s death was the quintessential metaphor of everything that is both right and wrong with the world today. Everyone was his “friend,” but nobody knew him. Without his Facebook friends, he would have died completely forgotten, poor, and many wouldn’t have been able to fulfill their purposes of driving up to Bishop and taking one last selfie with the guy. Before he was dead, his death was trending. Keep Reading

Look up when you date. Seriously, look up.

Published on September 5, 2017 in 30/Swipe/Unsatisfied by Mel

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s a real human.

“My dream way to meet my soul mate is on an app,” said nobody, ever.

Oh you don’t believe in soul mates? That’s fine, but let’s not be too cool to admit that you’re looking for that perfect person to match your criteria and check all the boxes. Oh you want someone thin, active, career driven, and jams to your favorite beats too?

Does your neck hurt? Proud of your trim thumbs?

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Mundane Review: Post TOTALITY Shmoshamilty, Sexual Demons, A Mexican Gringo, & some Slim Shady

Published on August 29, 2017 in -★★★.5/Unsatisfied by Mel

ANCIENT, ASTROLOGY, AUTUMN, BLACKHOLE, CONSPIRACY, CULTURE, DATING, ECLIPSE, FALL, GAME OF THRONES, GOT, HARRY POTTER, IMPOSSIBLE, J.K. ROWLING, JUSTIN'S PEANUT BUTTER, LA CROIX, MAGIC, MEL BLANCHARD GONG, MEXICAN GRINGO, MILLENNIALS, MOON, MUGGLES, MUNDANE, EVENTS, MYSTERY, OLSEN TWINS, REVIEW, SHADY, SPACE, sTARSk SUNk THE GREAT AMERICAN ECLIPSE, THE LAST GENERATION, TLGk TOTALITY, TUESDAy, WEREWOLF, instagram, selfie, magazine, design, offbeat

“When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull gray Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country.” -⚡️⚡️⚡️

We all forgot about this opening didn’t we? The one where everyone was wearing cloaks and owls were hunting in daylight. No one ever talks about how they axed the gray opening out of the movie, but the truth is, the Muggle world knew from the very start magic was real. Keep Reading

BE MY TYPO BITCH

Published on August 23, 2017 in Bitch Be Humble/Die Trying/Inter$t Rate by Mel

The Last Generation is too broke for an editor, so be my typo bitch?

71¢ per word!

*Note: Typos, not grammar. TLG style is real talk. A typo is if says “bind,” but it should say “blind.”

I ♥ U.

#retrichordietrying