“I can’t wait to turn 30!” said no one ever. There’s this van culture thing happening. Cute 20-somethings are living in vans. … KEEP READING👀
You can tell a lot about a Ho by her Christmas tree. From black angels up-top to Pottery Barn down below, there are three types of Christmas Ho’s.
Note: Don’t get a Christmas Ho twiest with a Tinder Hoe. Tres diferente!
Disclaimer: If you don’t identify with the Three Ho’s of Christmas, then you simply aren’t a ho. Nice job!👍🏾Maybe…
Other Note: Ho’s can me a combination of Ho’s and men can be Ho’s too.
“Lakshman lakshman lakshman ong ong lakshman. Now shake your hips as fast as you can, imagine gold, and let your kundalini rise! Chant this to get rich in 2017.” preached a white blonde “guru” sitting on a golden throne wearing a white turban.
In the dark, I hypnotically moved my body, my arms swung from side to side and I imaged money pouring down. The freedom to just move compulsively, to reach wide and fast and sensual as I felt, plus it was gonna get rich. I had become a hindu God, Ganesh, with slithering arms and an elephant’s trunk defying gravity. Every time I said the mantra “lakshman,” I could take myself into this mythological cave world filled with mountains of gold and the luck of the Irish.
Boom. Indian God in Ireland. Boom, I’m gonna get rich.
Laksham! 2017 Laksham! 2018 Laksham! Am I rich yet?
New Years Eve, the most lonely night of the year.
I kept saying, “I’m not a butt girl.” as if I wasn’t good enough.
Gentleman don’t prefer blondes, they prefer butt girls.
Firstly, a butt girl MUST have an instagram account. A butt girl is a chick with a really hot body who has an instagram account that look just like every other gorgeous butt girl and yet you can’t look away. She has the thigh gap, tan skin, gorgeous other butt-girl friends, a perfect looking family, and all her photos consist of her butt, her model face, the beach, and her fabulous jet-set life. The thing is, although everyone already knows instagram profiles are curated and real life isn’t like the photos, you can’t help but want that butt girl’s fucking fabulous digital life. She’s got it all?
Breaking Bullshit: While you traded digital currency for digital products during this oh-so-record breaking cyber weekend with your visa cards, bitcoin quadrupled,🤑 and smart people made money while you bought shit you’re going to throw in the street a year from now. If you invested the amount you spent over the weekend on bitcoin, you’d be thanking us here at TLG.
REAL News! The first AI female Robot inappropriately grabbed a man by the balls because it was programed with slang terms and took it a little too literal! #BoycottAI #theNewHarveryWinestein #Humanists #hideyourHusbands