“I can’t wait to turn 30!” said no one ever. There’s this van culture thing happening. Cute 20-somethings are living in vans. … KEEP READING👀
“The Eclipse puts us in our place.” – New York Times
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
During a total eclipse, spiders break their webs. During a total eclipse, Americans take a photo. Then we all went blind. What does it all mean?
Mercury is in retrograde in Virgo, black people are getting ran over in Charlottesville, some man born in 1953 got fired by another man with the exact same hair cut as him, and people are googling “what is an eclipse” before running outside to stare at the sun. It’s all connected and we are all connected, but you should already know that and if you needed a fucking eclipse and some Instagram narcissists to remind you, then you’re not all that great.
Have a pancake butt, but prefer soufflé? Justin’s Peanut Butter Packs are for you. Bigger butt 100% Guarantee. KEEP READING👀
30, doomsday. I’m not 30, so I can still talk shit about them. No one wants to turn 30 and even with all the filters/emojis/hashtags you use, followers you have, and even with all botox in the world. 30 is NOT the new 20. What is it about the number 30? Does something un-magically mundane happen when someone hits that number? Is there something we stop understanding? Do we lose our youth? KEEP READING👀
Everyone is disposable when you can swipe in your underwear.
Be a man. What does that phrase even mean? Or man up. The traits associated with being a man come down to bravery. Looking at someone or something for what it is and cutting to the chase. Suggesting to be a man automatically emasculates someone, even a woman. If you’re not a man, then you’re deprived of a certain form of heroism. Why do superheroes where masks in the first place? To shield their identity. If their a regular man, they are no longer super.