A Never Ending Store Window. Are you in?

Category archive

Almosts

Almosts and should haves... Stories of could haves and still doing.

Seeing is believing? Have you gone blind? It was NOT A ROCKET.

in Almosts/Die Trying/Unsatisfied by
The last generation, los angeles, the last gen, tlg, Mel Blanchard gong, millennials, culture, American dream, student debt, travel, youth, freedom, zero, 0, imagination, dreams do some true, nothing is impossible, what’s wrong with America, owe nothing, own nothing, do everything, reality, music, design, writing, New York times, New Yorker, dream friends, fake friends, social media, like, followers, connection, communication, relationship, magazine, gen z, ibaby, advertisement, campaign, Jeff Bezos, Peter thiel, thiel fellowship, scholarship, still dreamers, billionaires, Elon musk, gates foundation, bill gates, rich poor, guns and butter, dreams of zero, Nicki manaj, shithole, shit hole, trump, kardashian, bigger butt, butt girl, Christmas , space aliens ufo conspiracy, Harry Potter, magic, imagination

An hour past sundown on December 22, 2017, an 80-year-woman in stilettos, a blonde wig, and a very tight cat-eye facelift runs into an endangered Barnes & Noble store in Marina Del Rey, California yelling of magnificence for everyone to look at the sky.✨

“Did you see it? Did you look?” she nods with complete confidence in what she had seen. Eyes wide and alert, she gains composure and speaks, “Aliens are here. They’ve finally come. Crazy shit.” She embodied the spirit of this dude below. The paper book shoppers thought, was it the facelift that made her look crazy or was she crazy? It never once crossed their minds that it could be true, that magic was real.

Keep Reading

Ho Ho Ho! There are 3 Types of Christmas Ho’s! Which are you?

in 30/Almosts/Die Trying by
The Last Generation, millennials, culture, mean girls, Mel Blanchard Gong, The Three Ho's of Xmas, christmas tree, tradition, shallow, tinsel, basic bitch, stripper, milk and cookies, naughty or nice, slut, like, followers, selfie

You can tell a lot about a Ho by her Christmas tree. From black angels up-top to Pottery Barn down below, there are three types of Christmas Ho’s.

Note: Don’t get a Christmas Ho twiest with a Tinder Hoe. Tres diferente!

Disclaimer: If you don’t identify with the Three Ho’s of Christmas, then you simply aren’t a ho. Nice job!👍🏾Maybe…

Other Note: Ho’s can me a combination of Ho’s and men can be Ho’s too.

#HoToo

Keep Reading

Fact versus Fantasy. To be or NOT to be a BUTT GIRL.

in Almosts/Die Trying/Swipe by
The last generation, the last gen, tlg, Mel Blanchard gong, millennials, culture, American dream, student debt, travel, youth, freedom, zero, 0, imagination, dreams do some true, nothing is impossible, what’s wrong with America, owe nothing, own nothing, do everything, reality, music, design, writing, New York times, New Yorker, dream friends, fake friends, social media, like, followers, connection, communication, relationship, magazine, gen z, ibaby, advertisement, campaign, Jeff Bezos, Peter thiel, thiel fellowship, scholarship, still dreamers, billionaires, Elon musk, gates foundation, bill gates, rich poor, guns and butter, dreams of zero, Nicki manaj, shithole, shit hole, trump, kardashian, bigger butt, butt girl, Christmas , space aliens ufo conspiracy, Harry Potter, magic, imagination, Los Angeles, selfie, thelastgen.com, me too, #metoo, butt girl, narcissist, culture, mean girls, Mel Blanchard Gong, The Three Ho's of Xmas, christmas tree, tradition, shallow, tinsel, basic bitch, stripper, milk and cookies, naughty or nice, slut, like, followers, selfie, bitcoin, cryptocurrency, decentralization blockchain, MONEY, dark web, debt, culture, 30, millennial, savings, fbi, trump, security, future, communication, 2018, 2017, new year, nye, midnight, cinderella, new you, start over, inspire, resolution, Bridget jones, spirit bitch, overalls, instafamous, instagram, hashtag, facebook

I kept saying, “I’m not a butt girl.” as if I wasn’t good enough.

Gentleman don’t prefer blondes, they prefer butt girls.

Firstly, a butt girl MUST have an instagram account. A butt girl is a chick with a really hot body who has an instagram account that look just like every other gorgeous butt girl and yet you can’t look away. She has the thigh gap, tan skin, gorgeous other butt-girl friends, a perfect looking family, and all her photos consist of her butt, her model face, the beach, and her fabulous jet-set life. The thing is, although everyone already knows instagram profiles are curated and real life isn’t like the photos, you can’t help but want that butt girl’s fucking fabulous digital life. She’s got it all?

Don’t force the narrative. Just because she’s got a nice cheeky ass doesn’t mean she’s all that nice. Keep Reading

Burning Bridges – Not Everyone Falls Down

in Almosts/Bitch Be Humble by
The last generation, the last gen, tlg, Mel Blanchard gong, millennials, culture, American dream, student debt, travel, youth, freedom, zero, 0, imagination, dreams do some true, nothing is impossible, what’s wrong with America, owe nothing, own nothing, do everything, reality, music, design, writing, New York times, New Yorker, dream friends, fake friends, social media, like, followers, connection, communication, relationship, magazine, gen z, ibaby, advertisement, campaign, Jeff Bezos, Peter thiel, thiel fellowship, scholarship, still dreamers, billionaires, Elon musk, gates foundation, bill gates, rich poor, guns and butter, dreams of zero, Nicki manaj, shithole, shit hole, trump, kardashian, bigger butt, butt girl, Christmas , space aliens ufo conspiracy, Harry Potter, magic, imagination, Los Angeles, selfie, thelastgen.com, me too, #metoo, butt girl, narcissist, culture, mean girls, Mel Blanchard Gong, The Three Ho's of Xmas, christmas tree, tradition, shallow, tinsel, basic bitch, stripper, milk and cookies, naughty or nice, slut, like, followers, selfie, bitcoin, cryptocurrency, decentralization blockchain, MONEY, dark web, debt, culture, 30, millennial, savings, fbi, trump, security, future, communication, 2018, 2017, new year, nye, midnight, cinderella, new you, start over, inspire, resolution, Bridget jones, spirit bitch, overalls, instafamous, instagram, hashtag, facebook, game of thrones, aria stark, artificial intelligence, ai, robots, technology, Amazon rainforest, plastic surgery, eye, see, woke, watching, darpa, noko, North Korea, Japan, Kim Jong ew, moral of the story, Disney, are you in, never ending store window, Jesus, last supper, sober, 100 days la croix, change your life, oz, no place like home, Dorothy, mulan, warrior, ultimate self, halloween, burning bridges, London bridge, strong foundation, let go

A well built bridge is like an epic poem of both love and death, doubt and truth, weaved with incomprehensible wordy stanzas. You might pretend to get the poem, but really no one fully gets it except for the author, and that’s the best part. Keep Reading

Ultimate Self. To become a Warrior, you must die first.

in Almosts/Bitch Be Humble/Die Trying by
The last generation, the last gen, tlg, Mel Blanchard gong, millennials, culture, American dream, student debt, travel, youth, freedom, zero, 0, imagination, dreams do some true, nothing is impossible, what’s wrong with America, owe nothing, own nothing, do everything, reality, music, design, writing, New York times, New Yorker, dream friends, fake friends, social media, like, followers, connection, communication, relationship, magazine, gen z, ibaby, advertisement, campaign, Jeff Bezos, Peter thiel, thiel fellowship, scholarship, still dreamers, billionaires, Elon musk, gates foundation, bill gates, rich poor, guns and butter, dreams of zero, Nicki manaj, shithole, shit hole, trump, kardashian, bigger butt, butt girl, Christmas , space aliens ufo conspiracy, Harry Potter, magic, imagination, Los Angeles, selfie, thelastgen.com, me too, #metoo, butt girl, narcissist, culture, mean girls, Mel Blanchard Gong, The Three Ho's of Xmas, christmas tree, tradition, shallow, tinsel, basic bitch, stripper, milk and cookies, naughty or nice, slut, like, followers, selfie, bitcoin, cryptocurrency, decentralization blockchain, MONEY, dark web, debt, culture, 30, millennial, savings, fbi, trump, security, future, communication, 2018, 2017, new year, nye, midnight, cinderella, new you, start over, inspire, resolution, Bridget jones, spirit bitch, overalls, instafamous, instagram, hashtag, facebook, game of thrones, aria stark, artificial intelligence, ai, robots, technology, Amazon rainforest, plastic surgery, eye, see, woke, watching, darpa, noko, North Korea, Japan, Kim Jong ew, moral of the story, Disney, are you in, never ending store window, Jesus, last supper, sober, 100 days la croix, change your life, oz, no place like home, Dorothy, mulan, warrior, ultimate self, halloween, burning bridges, London bridge, strong foundation, let go, ultimate self, resurrection, death

Picasso said there are two types of women, goddesses and doormats. He was wrong. There are three. The third is the Warrior. This is the story of my death and how I came back to life. A love story.

Miracles do happen.

Thoughts become things.

Time takes time & time is distance.

Love is everything.

Left knee, right foot.

A warrior must understand the battlefield. There are leaders, there are followers, and there are cowards that will survive due to being at the right place at the right time with the right people. There are idiots and geniuses and life is not fair. A warrior fights for their light in the dark when it appears to have been blown out. A warrior lets pain in and develops their weapon from it. A warrior will always be on the outside because their strength is unparalleled and with this strength comes a duty. A warrior must know both when to cut the weak and when to save them. Patience, tactic, clarity of victory, and most of all deep love are traits that create a warrior.

Life is a constant act of breaking up with yourself, it’s important to let go. To become a warrior, you will have to break up with yourself, your ego, and kill the old you.

Keep Reading

If you’re almost 30, then you are NOT A ‘MILLENNIAL’.

in 30/Almosts/Bitch Be Humble by
the last generation, tlg, mel blanchard gong, aging, millennial, 30, getting old, youth, technology, state of mind, lifestyle, change, innovation, selfie,

30, doomsday. I’m not 30, so I can still talk shit about them. No one wants to turn 30 and even with all the filters/emojis/hashtags you use, followers you have, and even with all botox in the world. 30 is NOT the new 20. What is it about the number 30? Does something un-magically mundane happen when someone hits that number? Is there something we stop understanding? Do we lose our youth? Keep Reading

Ghosted.

in Almosts/Swipe by
mel blanchard, thelastgen, the last gen, tlg, the last generation, dating, swipe, tinder, tlg, ghosted, casper, blow off, dating, swipe, bumble, tinder, undateable,

Everyone is disposable when you can swipe in your underwear.

Be a man. What does that phrase even mean? Or man up. The traits associated with being a man come down to bravery. Looking at someone or something for what it is and cutting to the chase. Suggesting to be a man automatically emasculates someone, even a woman. If you’re not a man, then you’re deprived of a certain form of heroism. Why do superheroes where masks in the first place? To shield their identity. If their a regular man, they are no longer super.

Keep Reading

Word Play: Meaningless Sex

in Almosts/Swipe/Unsatisfied by

What is meaningless sex? Seriously? Everything has meaning.

The word “meaningless” has meaning.

Keep Reading

The Box Checker

in Almosts/Bitch Be Humble/Swipe by
The last generation, the last gen, tlg, Mel Blanchard gong, millennials, culture, American dream, student debt, travel, youth, freedom, zero, 0, imagination, dreams do some true, nothing is impossible, what’s wrong with America, owe nothing, own nothing, do everything, reality, music, design, writing, New York times, New Yorker, dream friends, fake friends, social media, like, followers, connection, communication, relationship, magazine, gen z, ibaby, advertisement, campaign, Jeff Bezos, Peter thiel, thiel fellowship, scholarship, still dreamers, billionaires, Elon musk, gates foundation, bill gates, rich poor, guns and butter, dreams of zero, Nicki manaj, shithole, shit hole, trump, kardashian, bigger butt, butt girl, Christmas , space aliens ufo conspiracy, Harry Potter, magic, imagination, Los Angeles, selfie, thelastgen.com, me too, #metoo, butt girl, narcissist, culture, mean girls, Mel Blanchard Gong, The Three Ho's of Xmas, christmas tree, tradition, shallow, tinsel, basic bitch, stripper, milk and cookies, naughty or nice, slut, like, followers, selfie, bitcoin, cryptocurrency, decentralization blockchain, MONEY, dark web, debt, culture, 30, millennial, savings, fbi, trump, security, future, communication, 2018, 2017, new year, nye, midnight, cinderella, new you, start over, inspire, resolution, Bridget jones, spirit bitch, overalls, instafamous, instagram, hashtag, facebook, game of thrones, aria stark, artificial intelligence, ai, robots, technology, Amazon rainforest, plastic surgery, eye, see, woke, watching, darpa, noko, North Korea, Japan, Kim Jong ew, moral of the story, Disney, are you in, never ending store window, Jesus, last supper, sober, 100 days la croix, change your life, oz, no place like home, Dorothy, mulan, warrior, ultimate self, halloween, burning bridges, London bridge, strong foundation, let go, ultimate self, resurrection, death, trader joe’s, amendments, shooting, gun violence, politics, trending, do nothing, say nothing, freedom, pseudo intellectual, pumpkin, witches, women, engaged, wedding, dream wedding, soulmates, diamond ring, culture, dating, swipe, bumble, tinder, black magic, trick or treat, halloween, witches, fake, harry potter, vice, riot, broadly, writer, medium, art, creative director, hocus pocus, little mermaid, ursula, prince charming, Disney, moral of the story, emojis, assholes get ahead, unapologetic, climb the ladder, epic bullshitter, John nordlinger died on facebook, Microsoft employee, usc school of cinematic arts, social death, make dating grant again say hi, Tinder, bumble, dating apps, the perfect man, a poem, mel blanchard gong, dating apps, single, sex, the last generation, tlg, millenials

I once met a 31-year-old man on Bumble named Paul.
He was very tall.
He drove a white AMG Mercedes and seemed like a guy that could get all the ladies.
I thought wow, now this is a guy to make babies.

He was born in Boston and was obsessed with Tom Brady.
He was a guys guy, a good guy into sports, and didn’t seem shady.
Paul went to a good college and seemed to come from a ‘good family.’
His father had passed and I felt embarrassed to have asked.
He was positive for the most part and successful at his job in tech.
He took me to fancy restaurants and was always the first to grab the check.
Paul dressed like a guy from GQ magazine, with his hair slick and his shoes shined.
It’s rare to meet a guy of Paul’s kind.

Paul was always polite and never late for a date.
He was a simple guy, maybe too simple for me, that just loved Boston and hockey.
The thing about Paul was he was really bad at a little thing called talkie.
He smiled beautifully big, listened to me ramble, and had NOTHING to say.
Trying to have a simple conversation with him would have taken all day.
But he liked me, he really really was interested despite him being mute.
On our first two dates I mistook it for shyness and thought it was cute.
It wasn’t shyness, he actually was a mute.

We didn’t have our first kiss until our fourth date.
After a few drinks, I figured it was time to seal our fate.
He smashed his face into mine like a head slam and bam!
Gosh fuckin’ dam!
He kissed me like a 13-year-old virgin then giggled as if he had never touched a woman before.
I really don’t think he had touched a woman before.
I took a shot of whiskey and figured hell, I’m about to act like a whore.

We went to his apartment and oh my god, what a horror!
The carpets were stained, the walls had holes, and his sheets were red.
I couldn’t imagine sleeping in that boy-in-a-man’s-body’s bed.
I tried so hard not to be a shallow, it was just a single man’s apartment.
But then he touched my boob and the man of no words at all squealed “yuppeeeee!”
And there I gave sweet Paul a hug and mercy kiss and ran on a spree!

Paul checked every box, he was perfectly dateable.
But despite the criteria our connection was non-debatable.
I never heard from Paul again and felt so guilty that I reached out.
It’s been months and after dating many ‘men’ since, I’ve come to realize maybe a guy like Paul wouldn’t have been so bad.
He did give me all he had…

Even with every box checked, Paul just wasn’t for me.
It just goes to show that there are no rules when it comes to human connection.
I do feel stupid and hope Paul finds a great girl.
The next time a guy gets so excited grabbing my boob I’ve learned to not be so rude.

With my new found realistic expectations,
I’m still single and hoping to find the right dude.
Swipe right, swipe left, wiggle undo,
It’s time I start to appreciate what is true.

Go to Top