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30

Is 30 pretty? Does your face match your career? Maybe with some botox.

Ho Ho Ho! There are 3 Types of Christmas Ho’s! Which are you?

in 30/Almosts/Die Trying by
The Last Generation, millennials, culture, mean girls, Mel Blanchard Gong, The Three Ho's of Xmas, christmas tree, tradition, shallow, tinsel, basic bitch, stripper, milk and cookies, naughty or nice, slut, like, followers, selfie

You can tell a lot about a Ho by her Christmas tree. From black angels up-top to Pottery Barn down below, there are three types of Christmas Ho’s.

Note: Don’t get a Christmas Ho twiest with a Tinder Hoe. Tres diferente!

Disclaimer: If you don’t identify with the Three Ho’s of Christmas, then you simply aren’t a ho. Nice job!👍🏾Maybe…

Other Note: Ho’s can me a combination of Ho’s and men can be Ho’s too.

#HoToo

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“Followers” – EVERYONE WANTS TO JESUS

in 30/Bitch Be Humble/Unsatisfied by
The last generation, the last gen, tlg, Mel Blanchard gong, millennials, culture, American dream, student debt, travel, youth, freedom, zero, 0, imagination, dreams do some true, nothing is impossible, what’s wrong with America, owe nothing, own nothing, do everything, reality, music, design, writing, New York times, New Yorker, dream friends, fake friends, social media, like, followers, connection, communication, relationship, magazine, gen z, ibaby, advertisement, campaign, Jeff Bezos, Peter thiel, thiel fellowship, scholarship, still dreamers, billionaires, Elon musk, gates foundation, bill gates, rich poor, guns and butter, dreams of zero, Nicki manaj, shithole, shit hole, trump, kardashian, bigger butt, butt girl, Christmas , space aliens ufo conspiracy, Harry Potter, magic, imagination, Los Angeles, selfie, thelastgen.com, me too, #metoo, butt girl, narcissist, culture, mean girls, Mel Blanchard Gong, The Three Ho's of Xmas, christmas tree, tradition, shallow, tinsel, basic bitch, stripper, milk and cookies, naughty or nice, slut, like, followers, selfie, bitcoin, cryptocurrency, decentralization blockchain, MONEY, dark web, debt, culture, 30, millennial, savings, fbi, trump, security, future, communication, 2018, 2017, new year, nye, midnight, cinderella, new you, start over, inspire, resolution, Bridget jones, spirit bitch, overalls, instafamous, instagram, hashtag, facebook, game of thrones, aria stark, artificial intelligence, ai, robots, technology, Amazon rainforest, plastic surgery, eye, see, woke, watching, darpa, noko, North Korea, Japan, Kim Jong ew, moral of the story, Disney, are you in, never ending store window, Jesus, last supper

30 something-year-olds take their followers, likers, and story views equally as serious as millennials; they just pretend to not care. There is an endangered breed of 30-somethings are not phased by likes followers, and story lurkers. If you are this minority, then you are secretly admired by selfie addicts and phone mirror users. The fact is, social media likes and follows send a message and it is indeed THE new form of communication and  people who communicate via social media coward away from talking about their new language. How do you understand a language if you don’t begin to study it? Millennials are already engrained to knowing this shit matters, so it’s the moment to make it an unfiltered conversation. It’s not just that likes send a oxytocin filled rush to the brain, it’s that likes and follows send a social message if you are in or out of someone’s artificial circle. Yes fake friends are real, but real friends now communicate in the passive aggressive digi space too and REAL FRIENDS, you are being called the fuck out right now. If your way of communicating with people you care about is through social media and if you think you’re caught up on your friends’ lives because you tune-in to their channels, then you kinda suck. You too are what is wrong with culture today. Keep Reading

I put a spell on you! Magic Spell to get a Diamond Ring.

in 30/Die Trying/Swipe by
The last generation, the last gen, tlg, Mel Blanchard gong, millennials, culture, American dream, student debt, travel, youth, freedom, zero, 0, imagination, women, engaged, wedding, dream wedding, soulmates, diamond ring, culture, dating, swipe, bumble, tinder, black magic, trick or treat, halloween, witches, fake, harry potter, vice, riot, broadly, writer, medium, art, creative director, hocus pocus, little mermaid, ursula, prince charming, Disney, moral of the story

I put a spell on you and now you’re mine.

Remember when Ariel gave up her voice just to be with Prince Charming; a man she had met once for like a sec? Imagine what his life would have been like without all that crazy bitch drama of octopussy tricks and under the sea treats.

With Halloween approaching and every basic bitch deciding what multiple-Taylor-Swift-personality she wants to mask herself as for one night, everyone is on the hunt to couple up. Bumble announced that since September their user base has risen by 75%. What is it about the cool breeze and smell of pumpkin spice that makes everyone want to couple up? Loneliness? American Hallmark cards? Or is it simply magic? In your early twenties, they say everyone wants to be single in the summer, does that urge apply in your thirties?… maybe for men. Keep Reading

A Coming of Present. 🎂 The present is the present. Let them eat Funtetti.

in 30/Bitch Be Humble/Inter$t Rate by
The last generation, the last gen, tlg, Mel Blanchard gong, millennials, culture, American dream, student debt, travel, youth, freedom, zero, 0, imagination, dreams do some true, nothing is impossible, what’s wrong with America, owe nothing, own nothing, do everything, reality, music, design, writing, New York times, New Yorker, dream friends, fake friends, social media, like, followers, connection, communication, relationship, magazine, gen z, ibaby, advertisement, campaign, Jeff Bezos, Peter thiel, thiel fellowship, scholarship, still dreamers, billionaires, Elon musk, gates foundation, bill gates, rich poor, guns and butter, dreams of zero, Nicki manaj, shithole, shit hole, trump, kardashian, bigger butt, butt girl, Christmas , space aliens ufo conspiracy, Harry Potter, magic, imagination, Los Angeles, selfie, thelastgen.com, me too, #metoo, butt girl, narcissist, culture, mean girls, Mel Blanchard Gong, The Three Ho's of Xmas, christmas tree, tradition, shallow, tinsel, basic bitch, stripper, milk and cookies, naughty or nice, slut, like, followers, selfie, bitcoin, cryptocurrency, decentralization blockchain, MONEY, dark web, debt, culture, 30, millennial, savings, fbi, trump, security, future, communication, 2018, 2017, new year, nye, midnight, cinderella, new you, start over, inspire, resolution, Bridget jones, spirit bitch, overalls, instafamous, instagram, hashtag, facebook, game of thrones, aria stark, artificial intelligence, ai, robots, technology, Amazon rainforest, plastic surgery, eye, see, woke, watching, darpa, noko, North Korea, Japan, Kim Jong ew, moral of the story, Disney, are you in, never ending store window, Jesus, last supper, sober, 100 days la croix, change your life, oz, no place like home, Dorothy, mulan, warrior, ultimate self, halloween, burning bridges, London bridge, strong foundation, let go, ultimate self, resurrection, death, trader joe’s, amendments, shooting, gun violence, politics, trending, do nothing, say nothing, freedom, pseudo intellectual, pumpkin, witches, women, engaged, wedding, dream wedding, soulmates, diamond ring, culture, dating, swipe, bumble, tinder, black magic, trick or treat, halloween, witches, fake, harry potter, vice, riot, broadly, writer, medium, art, creative director, hocus pocus, little mermaid, ursula, prince charming, Disney, moral of the story, emojis, assholes get ahead, unapologetic, climb the ladder, epic bullshitter, present is the present, unbirthday, Alice in wonderland, funfetti

Peculiar thoughts about the word “present”.

In the 4th Century, when Constantine banished the demons from his dark soul and let God into Rome and Christians became persecutors that outlawed all other forms of belief by torturing green garland hangers and incense burners, birthdays were outlawed and deemed evil (by Christians). How could you celebrate a life that was born with “original sin?” Pagan astrology and the celebration of an ego was sinful.  For whatever reason, Christians changed their minds so they could celebrate Christmas, the birth of Jesus. Prior, ancient Egyptians celebrated the birth of Pharaohs because Pharaohs were considered gods. Pagan Romans were the first to celebrate the birth of the common MAN, especially those in government. Keep Reading

Look up when you date. Seriously, look up.

in 30/Swipe/Unsatisfied by

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s a real human.

“My dream way to meet my soul mate is on an app,” said nobody, ever.

Oh you don’t believe in soul mates? That’s fine, but let’s not be too cool to admit that you’re looking for that perfect person to match your criteria and check all the boxes. Oh you want someone thin, active, career driven, and jams to your favorite beats too?

Does your neck hurt? Proud of your trim thumbs?

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If you’re almost 30, then you are NOT A ‘MILLENNIAL’.

in 30/Almosts/Bitch Be Humble by
the last generation, tlg, mel blanchard gong, aging, millennial, 30, getting old, youth, technology, state of mind, lifestyle, change, innovation, selfie,

30, doomsday. I’m not 30, so I can still talk shit about them. No one wants to turn 30 and even with all the filters/emojis/hashtags you use, followers you have, and even with all botox in the world. 30 is NOT the new 20. What is it about the number 30? Does something un-magically mundane happen when someone hits that number? Is there something we stop understanding? Do we lose our youth? Keep Reading

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