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Bitch Be Humble

SO MUCH GOOD TO DO, BE, AND SEE. Go kill it. Be savage. Bitch be humble.

Don’t cuddle with a Shapeshifter 🐺 Paint Your Roses Dead!🥀

in Bitch Be Humble/Coin Therapy/Inter$t Rate by

As the fall equinox 🍂embarks upon us, on September 21st to be exact, and the nights start to feel like that I-need-someone-to-hold-me-in-dark feeling, you must be weary of two types of people- seasonal cuddle assholes who spoon only in the winter as if they were in a playoff 🏈 and Shapeshifters🐺… They are often one in the same and more dangerous than what Trader Joe’s gluten free pumpkin🎃 muffins do to your butt.🍑

To begin, there are five types of people on this planet🇺🇸🌎. 🤚🏾.

#1s 👆🏽Smart people who know facts and thus govern
#2s ✌🏽Stupid people who pretend to know facts and thus are anti everything
#3s ✌🏽🖕🏽Stupid people who keep their mouths shut and follow the leader, and thus are anti whatever their leader is anti.
#4s 🖖🏽The most dangerous, the Shape-Shifter. They are not pulled by the moonlight🌕, but rather their iPhone light. Both pseudo-smart and pseudo- stupid, they comprehend just enough and use the information they do know to intimidate for the lack of feeling better about what they don’t know. This is called trix and it’s to feel in control and to gain power without having worked as hard as #1s. #4s are gifted at tricking people into thinking they are #1s, setting off a wave of trending panic, and are the a-holes that are all like, “I’m so crypto! I exist on the blockchain! Decentralize yo life you loser!” They say “fuck the dollar, fuck government,” yet crave the dollar so hard. They’re like a knock-off Van Gogh painting at Micheal’s. The brush strokes look real, but there’s no actual texture; no time went into it.
#0s 👌🏽The unicorns🦄, people who have found a way to be totally free – to owe nothing, own nothing, do everything, and answer to no one. KEEP READING👀

Bad Witch turns Tall Man Short! Possible suspect, a Blonde Asian with Hair in Her Face

in 30/Almosts/Bitch Be Humble/Swipe by
The Last Generation, the last gen, thelastgen, mel blanchard gong, Melanie, millennial culture, vice, blunt thoughts, apocalypse, travel, magic spell, pumpkin spice, Starbucks, looks fade, shallow Hal, instagram, fake butt, dating, tall men, egos, humility, sex and the city, mr big, heartbreak, the one, rant, trader joes, assholes, unapologetic, bird scooters, tinder, bumble, dating apps, live your best life, liveyourbestlife, single for life, beauty skin deep, ghosted

Imagine if every tall shallow-man-child you knew woke up and was magically turned short for one year. Would they grow into real men? Imagine if short men were tall for a year, would they steam up into asshole lattés☕️ or would they be every single swiper’s dream? If a girl can ask how tall a guy is on an app then a guy has the right to ask what her weight is. Game on.

They come in all shapes and sizes. Their bank accounts will always have a different sum. They drive Mini Coopers, lifted trucks, shiney Mercedes Benz, used Teslas, Ducati’s, fixies, Bird Scooters and prefer a good lease on luxury. A lease is usually favored, you know, so they can trade them in when they wear them out and the miles wrack up. Yes, I’m referring to the overpopulation of assholes. No it’s not just tall men, shorties and woman can be assholes too. I know this because I used to be one. KEEP READING👀

The west changes faster than the wild. The Harbinger Gorilla.

in Bitch Be Humble/Die Trying by

We just ate the whole cake. That’s right, if you watched IT, then you were just forced to eat the whole fucking cake without knowing what was underneath the frosting.🎂

Do you taste it? The after?… That flavor is a pallet that just doesn’t go away after a rinse; it’s the smell lurking type.👃🏾

The theme of this article is “what isn’t being said after it was all said.” Scared to be too late into the Glover dance analyzation game, after 5 days of rewrites, no sleep, and deep hesitation about what is wrong or right to say, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d rather fail big than fail small. I have to do what I feel. Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant broke the record for the most shots in the NBA, but what no one ever talks about is that they also have the most missed shots. You gotta keep throwing shit out there. I never want to hurt anyone and don’t intend to. If I’m wrong, then I’m wrong. Make sense of what you will, this is just my art, my rap track. Being culturally appropriate here at TLG. 👊🏽

Here we go. After eating Glover’s whole cake,  I drove through one of the blackest streets in America blasting Donald Glover’s This is America, something felt so wrong about publicly playing that song as black people glanced, like I was exposing it to cultural appropriation, and for playing it and not being black. There’s an entire conversation about Glover’s video that we aren’t having. What isn’t being talked about is, is it appropriate for a non-black person to enjoy the song and dance to it? What’s appropriate? Intention is. Moral is.

After cruising through the streets whilst during a media triad of Glover, the Met Gala, and Kanye’s free thoughts, this story came to me. It’s what I thought of, so I wrote it. Here we go. Fail big.

The last generation, the last gen, tlg, Mel Blanchard gong, millennials, culture, American dream, student debt, travel, youth, freedom, zero, 0, imagination, dreams do some true, nothing is impossible, what’s wrong with America, owe nothing, own nothing, do everything, reality, music, design, writing, New York times, New Yorker, dream friends, fake friends, social media, like, followers, connection, communication, relationship, magazine, gen z, ibaby, advertisement, campaign, Jeff Bezos, Peter thiel, thiel fellowship, scholarship, still dreamers, billionaires, Elon musk, gates foundation, bill gates, rich poor, guns and butter, dreams of zero, Nicki manaj, shithole, shit hole, trump, kardashian, bigger butt, butt girl, Christmas , space aliens ufo conspiracy, Harry Potter, magic, imagination, Los Angeles, selfie, thelastgen.com, me too, #metoo, butt girl, narcissist, culture, mean girls, Mel Blanchard Gong, The Three Ho's of Xmas, christmas tree, tradition, shallow, tinsel, basic bitch, stripper, milk and cookies, naughty or nice, slut, like, followers, selfie, bitcoin, cryptocurrency, decentralization blockchain, MONEY, dark web, debt, culture, 30, millennial, savings, fbi, trump, security, future, communication, 2018, 2017, new year, nye, midnight, cinderella, new you, start over, inspire, resolution, Bridget jones, spirit bitch, overalls, instafamous, instagram, hashtag, facebook, game of thrones, aria stark, artificial intelligence, ai, robots, technology, Amazon rainforest, plastic surgery, eye, see, woke, watching, darpa, noko, North Korea, Japan, Kim Jong ew, moral of the story, Disney, are you in, never ending store window, Jesus, last supper, sober, 100 days la croix, change your life, oz, no place like home, Dorothy, mulan, warrior, ultimate self, halloween, stranger things, photos of yourself, lil Wayne

Donald Glover’s This is America

The west changes faster than the wild. The Harbinger Gorilla.

There once was a King Silverback Gorilla. He looked after his own, kept his family safe from outsiders, and knew that his type were being hunted and on the verge of extinction. He could always foretell when danger lurked and taught others how to spot it. He was brave and in moments when an attacker approached, he would beat his chest, growl, and doing everything he could to distract the danger until his pack family could flee to safety. When he and his family weren’t running from poachers and had a moment to rest, he’d find a grassy patch were the sun shined and he’d begin to sing. His family would often join in with the hums and hoos. The King was growing old and was tired. He had a big heart and always hoped that the poachers from the West could exist with gorillas peacefully like the rest of the Wild. One day, whilst happily in the free sun, the King was relaxed and saw several poachers coming forth. Un-instinctually and sun-dazed, he thought “maybe if I showed them I was friendly, they’d come join and sing with us.” He started to hum and dance to distract the poachers, but his family got confused. “Why would King hum and not growl?” Because they followed King, the rest of the pack joined in and sang and danced in front of the men with guns. The poachers had never seen something like this before. “Gorillas dancing? What a rare thing to join in on.” So the poachers joined in and danced with the primates and even locked both their five-finger-hands, but as time passed and the gorillas were ready to retreat to the forest, the hums stopped and thats when the poachers were no longer distracted. It was fun, but unlike gorillas, poachers are carnivores and they had to feed with a their bounties. So as the gorillas waved goodbye and turned their trusted backs, a poacher made a monkey sound, “oo ah ah”,  KEEP READING👀

If it’s Cultural Appropriation, then Asian’s take the dumb out of blonde. Look the way you feel you old fashioned phuck

in Bitch Be Humble/Die Trying/Unsatisfied by
The Last Generation, the last gen, thelastgen, mel blanchard gong, Melanie, millennial culture, vice, blunt thoughts, apocalypse, travel, magic spell, pumpkin spice, Starbucks, looks fade, shallow Hal, instagram, fake butt, dating, tall men, egos, humility, sex and the city, mr big, heartbreak, the one, rant, trader joes, assholes, unapologetic, bird scooters, tinder, bumble, dating apps, live your best life, liveyourbestlife, single for life, beauty skin deep, ghosted, Kanye, tmz, blonde asian, New York times

Haven’t you heard? Oppressed Asian girls went bippity boppity boo and got a badass makeover to prove they were just as legally American as a blonde.

So many once quiet and submissive silky dark haired asian women bleached their hair and ganged together that they made an emoji of us!

The New York Times, just reported that Asian girls were bleaching their hair as an act of rebellion, to mimic Asian celebrities rather than white Americans, to signal generational difference of thought from their parents, and to take back identity with hair bleach! Asian girls didn’t have identity before their hair turned white…. Duh! In fact no brunette has an identity before they go blonde.

Brunettes who want to “shake up their look” and happen to be asian are worthy of a New York fucking Times feature. Sorry white girls, you’re not newsworthy. KEEP READING👀

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