As the fall equinox 🍂embarks upon us, on September 21st to be exact, and the nights start to feel like that I-need-someone-to-hold-me-in-dark feeling, you must be weary of two types of people- seasonal cuddle assholes who spoon only in the winter as if they were in a playoff 🏈 and Shapeshifters🐺… They are often one in the same and more dangerous than what Trader Joe’s gluten free pumpkin🎃 muffins do to your butt.🍑
To begin, there are five types of people on this planet🇺🇸🌎. 🤚🏾.
#1s 👆🏽Smart people who know facts and thus govern
#2s ✌🏽Stupid people who pretend to know facts and thus are anti everything
#3s ✌🏽🖕🏽Stupid people who keep their mouths shut and follow the leader, and thus are anti whatever their leader is anti.
#4s 🖖🏽The most dangerous, the Shape-Shifter. They are not pulled by the moonlight🌕, but rather their iPhone light. Both pseudo-smart and pseudo- stupid, they comprehend just enough and use the information they do know to intimidate for the lack of feeling better about what they don’t know. This is called trix and it’s to feel in control and to gain power without having worked as hard as #1s. #4s are gifted at tricking people into thinking they are #1s, setting off a wave of trending panic, and are the a-holes that are all like, “I’m so crypto! I exist on the blockchain! Decentralize yo life you loser!” They say “fuck the dollar, fuck government,” yet crave the dollar so hard. They’re like a knock-off Van Gogh painting at Micheal’s. The brush strokes look real, but there’s no actual texture; no time went into it.
#0s 👌🏽The unicorns🦄, people who have found a way to be totally free – to owe nothing, own nothing, do everything, and answer to no one.
There, The Last Generation just governed you and slapped a number on your identity, how does it feel?
preached the shapeshifter.
We’re a country and a very madd world ruled by #4s, shapeshifters.
We live in a SHAPESHIFTERDOM.
The DOM. There is no place on planet earth that exists without a DOM. We fantasize Utopia as a DOM. Lion King, Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty, Mulan, Aladdin, Frozen, Beauty and the Beast, Tangled, and Snow White all exist in kingDOMS.
Space is governed🚀, the middle of the fucking ocean is governed🌎, where you sleep is governed😴, how a woman uses her body is governed💃🏼, and your entire is existence governed by a DOM👁. The moment you are born👶🏽, your DOM brands an invisible fine print hidden somewhere between your conscience and your first rebellious memory that explicitly states the rules and regulations for your duration on this planet👽. Even when you die, where your body goes after is governed by your DOM. If you find your Granny👵🏽 peacefully dead on a couch, you can’t just bury her in the backyard of the home her husband built with his bare hands 85 years ago. She’d legally have to lay naked among other dead people🧟♀️ in a refrigerator for days until she is either embalmed or burned. Even after that her last remains are governed, her file of personal information will be stored on whitepages.com to keep reminding you that she existed, was governed, what DOM she lived in, and what DOMs her kin inhabit.
Even in Alice in Fucking Wonderland, blondie leaves one restricted zone but finds herself trippin’ balls in a queenDOM👸🏼.
Even in Lady and the fucking Tramp🐩💔🐕, you can’t be a lady wondering around the streets without being put in a cage. We’re a perpetual species of the DOM.
D.O.M. = Dirty Old Man
In computer programing, DOM stands for Document Object Model, the irony.
You wondering about conDOM?🍆 Yeah, it LITERALLY means to trick the DOMINUS, the master. In latin the word Dominus is derived from the Roman Republic, the O.G. empire. Even the words you speak and how you pronounce them are governed with laws and rules. You’re versus your, why do we all really give a flying-phuck?! 🙈🙉🙊There is no word with DOM that represents the female, so for all you bullshit feminists out there, you should think twice when you demand DOMination. Men are crypto-ly hating this new brand of feminists because they’re trying to play the unnatural role of the DOM rather than DAME. Only the weak would willingly be whipped (#3s). We’re forgetting that instinctive femininity is the most powerful of all, but we digress.
⬆︎This track goes with this article. Redfine by Incubus☝︎
An Iranian Lyft driver will tell you how beautiful his country once was, he’ll say, “It was full of history, even more beautiful than France.” and then say “Now it’s destroyed and everyone who lives there is all anti-government.”
Everyone is all fucking anti-government, but is having a government all that bad? When you hear the word “Kingdom”🤴🏼, what do you feel? 🧚🏼♂️What do you imagine?🧞♂️ Something rich, something magical🧙♂️, and with order no?🧜♂️ You probably imagine peasants, but what are they doing? 👯♂️👯♀️Not running from bombs, we hope.💥
America, Greece, Russia, Syria, tiny AF Ireland… Somewhere right now a bomb is going off in a DOM set off by another DOM. For the person that argues we need rules and a government to keep people safe, the streets clean, and order… Well duh, but it’s kinda weird that the moment you’re born, you don’t have a choice but to follow laws set by a DOM that you never agreed to. Without a choice you have to have a name with letters from the alphabet and a number attached to you for the rest of your life. To survive, you must exist as a living breathing barcode. You can never just go and do what you want. You can’t just pick a spot on a map and live in any DOM. You can’t actually #liveyourbestlife because your barcode may not scan you through it… Unless you’re Kim Kardashian. This shit is weird AF if you really think about it and what’s even weirder is whitepages.com. You can’t hide from them, we’ve tried.👻🕵🏼♂️
If a woman gives birth in a forest and no one is around to see it, did she really give birth? Let’s just say for a moment you had an off-the-grid baby.👶🏽 The baby’s chances of surviving on it’s own, meaning without a forever anonymous bitcoin flow and a home without someone else’s name attached, are close to impossible. Except living the life Tarzan in the jungle🌴, even if somehow that baby grew to be an adult without having gone to school or being given a name, to exist in the DOM where it existed, it would have to follow laws and rules to blend in with the rest of the Artificially Intelligent. What happens to Tarzan anyway? The moment he’s discovered, rules are placed upon him. What happens when you restrict what was born wild? It breaks or dies.
Everyone is all anti everything these days. Anti the church✞, anti Trump, anti USD💸, anti free health care, anti anti ANTI… But what happens when shit goes too far anti? There’s a time and place and reason to fight for freedom and overthrow a government, but culturally in America we’re just overthrowing shit for the sake of overthrowing it and giving it a #. This is what an ANTIDOM LOOKS LIKE.👁
What happens to the AntiDOM after it evolves? The extreme happens, Handmaid’s Tale happens, wholesome turns whoresome, respected Iranians become Lyft drivers, glaciers melt, gun sales skyrocket, dinosaur’s escape theme parks, Buzzfeed becomes the news and the news becomes Buzzfeed, and then SNL makes ya’ll chuckle😝 but secretly controls yo mind 🌀to make mockery and defamation of an entire country acceptable rather than shameful. One can be anti-everything, free to speak, but still act with fortitude and keep their dignity intact.
When the most powerful newspaper in the world, NYT, makes a mockery of an entire country and stupid people don't get it. Unfortunately these types of messages won't be understood by the stupid (#2s & #3s), thus NYT and other a-hole outlets only make the problem worse and make stupid people more stupid.
So is being governed by a DOM all that bad? The US government is ruled by 1s and 4s and stuffed with 3s. Trump is a 4, Brett Kavanaugh is a 1, Sara Sanders is a 3, and the majority who wear an I voted sticker are 2s. John McCain was a 1, you know, that dead dude ya’ll #4s paid your respects to even though ya’ll never respected him. Let’s never forget what the shapeshifters did to him, the man Vanity Fair deemed as The Man Who Never Was.
Boo vibes are stronger than you think.
If you’re a #4, listen carefully because The Last Generation is about to give you the
ULTIMATE PLAY TO WIN THE NEXT ELECTION.
Ready for it? Paint your roses dead.🥀
Tell people your King is dying and maybe they’ll pay attention. Make him Jesus. Kill him first and then resurrect him to save us all. Let’s call this play, The Brain Tumor Win. #playbook Once your DOM wins office, for a mere $5.08 from the zonDOM, you can purchase some acetone to remove your paint without a tint of color left behind.
⬆︎Listen and feel this track Shape Shifter by Local Natives☝︎
Thesis: If McCain could come back to life R.N, then we would make him our next President.
Prediction:🔮 #4 Kim Kardashian🍑 will delete all her social media and it will be deemed as disruptive, but ya’ll will know who did that shit first! 🙋🏼♀️Then she’ll run for office. We said it here at TLG!👊🏾
Extremities. In the days of cherry tree choppin’ Abraham Lincoln, a republican was a liberal. 😱😱😱The more conservative republicans were deemed ‘moderates’ and labeled as Rockefeller Republicans. No shit.🙅🏼♀️💩 Shut up you #4!👏🏽 It’s true, we’re all anti something until an extreme happens and then we switch sides. 🔁It’s Handmaid’s Tale shit, real feminists get overshadowed by bullshit feminists and then #1s stop listening to tales of wolves. We must be careful about who deem as prophets and saviors and of the anti. #4s call Elon Musk the Anti-Christ, #2s agree, but he’s just a #1 making cool cars and tryin to form alliances UFO. He knows more than 2, 3, and 4s and trust you will never hear a #1 deeming him Christ-anything.
So back to the question, is a government so bad? The blockchain, an encrypted real time ledger deemed Santa Clause’s🎅🏿 most accurate naughty or nice list is the latest unDOM that is being built by #4s. Down with the dollar!💸 Once it dies, all you #4s will shapeshift to your phone-lights and be whaling to bring it back.🐋
So what’s the point of all this rules bullshit rant?
Well, here’s photos of governed magical ✨kingDOMS.
And here’s is what happens when shit goes ANTIDOM.
What happened when people used to bury grannies in their backyards? 👵🏽The plague.🧟♀️
The word crypto means “a person having a secret allegiance to a political creed” and in this case, a secret club where the major productive resource involves mining and is owned by the public who divides wealth ‘equally.’ For all you number 2, 3, and 4s, that means COMMUNISM.
China. NoKo. Cuba. Come on people!
We like our fuel fresh, our fur tamed, and our money green! 🤑 But we digress. #USDBitch🇺🇸
The only rule to follow is the golden #1.
Don’t cuddle with a shapeshifter.
Keep painting your roses🥀
Written by Mel Blanchard Gong, of The Last Generation, aka The Last Gen, a millennial blunt thoughts editorial about all things apocalyptic.