The Prince of Persia🐸👑, A Frog That Should Have Never Been Kissed💋🙅🏼‍♀️

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Review

Kissing a Frog
1/10
Magic Zero Emission Carpet Rides
1/10
Dating Life
1/10
Prince of Persia
2/10
Inspiration from A*holes
5/10
Overall
2.0/10

but read and listen to music tracks for full experience.

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When a man tells you he’s a prince, know that he will most likely treat you like a street rat. 🐀There’s that old American saying, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your handsome prince.🐸”  Every woman knows iterations of this story and most versions lack moral. Prince’s are selfish pricks and once a frog, always a frog. This is The Last Gen‘s take on a story about a human princess who ignored every red flag🚩, abused true loves kiss💋, and fell for a fairytale prince 🤴🏾only to learn that this prince came with a price, an unfair exchange for her magic powers- her light👁.

Listen to the music tracks while you read to experience the feeling and imagination of the story.✨
Track: One Jump Ahead Reprise, Aladdin OST

In 2019, when wishing was wanting, there lived a human princess so beautiful on the inside that even the sun was enchanted by her light. On a muggy day in a moist dark forest, the Princess was glowing as she prayed and accidentally dropped her gold cross in a gooey swamp. A slimy frog across the way noticed and this particular frog was a quick thinker. He had seen princesses lose what was valuable to them before in the exact same spot, so he knew the quickest route to checkmate, to knock down pawns in the demise of her capture. He croaked as he selfishly jumped on top of lotus flower💮to lotus flower 💮while splashing them with sludge and pushing them under the mud all just to reach the princess. His croak sounded like,

“🐸Mo Mo Mo Mo.”

When the princess was not looking, he quickly grabbed her gold cross and hid it under the water with his foot. When he reached her, already with a facade of a heroic strategy unbeknownst the Princess, he asked her “Beautiful princess, why are you in such distress?” She looked him in the eyes and said, “I lost something precious to me, I’m going to take my dress off and jump into this swamp to find it.” The frog sucked in air to make his chest look bigger,

“No no Princess! No need to take off your dress. This swamp is poisonous and I am a good swimmer. Let me be a gentlefrog and retrieve it for you. All I ask is if I risk my life to find your gold cross, you must kiss me after.”

The princess’s gut reaction was that this frog didn’t just look slimy, but something felt dark and not right. How did he know she dropped her cross? Why was this frog so adamant about kissing her so quickly? She thought to herself that no way was this swamp toxic, beautiful lotus flowers are growing from it, but what made this princess so beautiful was that she was full of light, she had an open heart and because of this she trusted easily. She did not want to owe someone for doing a good deed, but how much harm could a single kiss do to her?💋 She went against her better judgment and agreed. With a croak, an en passant move, and lotus flowers used as pawns the frog scuttled and dove into the shallow mud to pretend retrieved the Princess’s valuable. Within a blink and out of nowhere,  the warty toad resurfaced and sprung right onto her shoulder getting the so-called toxic mud all over her dress. He returned her gold cross and although there was all the time in the realm, without a minute to spare he croaked “Kiss me.”

Listen. Look. Feel while you read📖👀.

Track: To Be Free, Aladdin OST✨

The Princess was so grateful for the Frog that she wanted to get to know this heroic frog before she kissed him. She picked him up and gently put him down but he jumped right back on her shoulder, “Kiss me.” This Princess was not your average princess with the perfect royal upbringing and did not know if the frog would care to kiss a human princess as she found most want to kiss a fairytale princess. The frog could not wait, so against her moral and her gut and what her heart was telling her, she kissed him.

💫Bipity-bopity-boo!

The frog first grew arms💪🏾, then legs, then his abs came in and finally his face 👃🏾began to morph👁. He first looked like a boy, then turned into a normal man with prominent authentic features, his face then softened and his hair grew thick with a swirl, and finally his face turned into a fairytale Prince’s face🤴🏾. The metamorphosis looked painful to the Princess, but the frog did not care as he hated being a frog in a swamp among lotus flowers. He wanted to be beautiful, live in a castle, travel in a fancy zero emission carriage, and to forget about the swamp he came from that made him who he was. He touched the Princess and said

“You can call me The Prince of Persia”

and

“You will be my princess and we will lay together immediately as I must make up for lost time, go find myself and travel and drink tea. After we lay together, you will not see me for again for a while, but you must wait as I am a Prince thus what I want is more important than what you want.”

The Princess did not understand how the Prince so quickly was able to capture her as he was just a frog that foreign to luxury not too long ago.

He had the looks of beautiful fairytale Prince and because she was human, she fell for him, she laid with him right away, and he then disappeared and reappeared when it was convenient for him. The Princess remembered how he jumped on top of lotus flowers with no regard for their beauty, yet she waited for him and did not mind that he was once a frog. She had hoped she could ask him questions about the swamp he was born in as that’s why she liked him. The thing was, she thought of the dark forest as a magical place 🌠🌲🌙because she was also born in the dark forest and was granted the 💫magic power of light🌝. She looked for the good in everything and believed that he must have had light in him too if he was given the opportunity to turn into a Prince and leave the dark forest to live in a high castle where the sun always shined🏰🌴🌅.

The princess started to not feel so well, she was dimming🌒, but on a day that the Prince was sick and bored, he invited the Princess to his castle to grace his presence and she was ready to share her light with him. She ignored her own symptoms of needing rest. Because he was not a true fairytale Prince, but rather an amphibian, the Princess thought it would be okay to tell the Prince that she was too was born where he was born. She was birthed as simply a tiny spec of light💡 in a black hole 🕳with nothing else surrounding her. No one ever came to her rescue and no one ever helped her out of that black hole like the Frog had help out of the swamp. The spec of light searched and searched for more light specs in the pitch black and although it took a long time and although this light spec almost faded throughout moments of growth, eventually this light spec gathered more light until she was able to see a path out of the dark forest. She had to fight against evil lurking creatures that wanted to use her light’s energy, but she made it out. When the light left the forest, she learned that the forest wasn’t the only place where darkness lived. It was everywhere, even the pitch black, and she would have to find a power source to keep her light running. After years of searching and consuming sources that took more power than produced, she discovered the most enchanting power source of all right when her light was about to burn out,

From love came more light and soon she blazed and burned 🔥and from the fire stars gathered that swirled and morphed a Princess with burn marks and scars to remind her that

she was a human princess and NOT a fairytale Princess.🎇

When the Princess finally saw the sick Prince, she thought that he looked more like a frog that day but didn’t care as looks fade just as light does. Even when ill she kissed him. The Princess shared her most cherished story and her truth to the Prince and instead of the reaction she had hoped for he just croaked like the frog and again she looked passed her better judgment. His face puffed up like a bullfrog and only croaked,

“Mo. Mo. Mo.”

The Prince of Persia hugged the human Princess tight and again the princess felt no warmth and ignored all the red flags🚩 she had known through past experiences with other 🦎reptiles disguised as Princes🐊. As she said goodbye, she felt her light fading even more because she now knew that this Prince was still a Frog.🐸

Later that evening the so-called Prince of Persia sent a stork 🦆to deliver a message to the Princess. The message read, “I am the Prince of Persia now and I can’t be with or ever love someone from the dark forest. I want to be with a fairytale Princess who was born into a royal family because a human princess without a family would rely on me too much and frankly, I am better than you. I am better than the swamp I came from. I am better than the lotus flowers that bloom from mud in the swamp. I was born a frog but I ‘strategized’ and can capture any queen I want and you are a street rat 🐀. Don’t get me wrong, I see that you are a light so I want to keep you in my life.”

With no question in her mind and no tear on her face, the Princess may have been kind, but she had boundaries. The words blazed a dragon load of fucking fire right out of her heart🔥🔥🔥,

“NO. THANK YOU NEXT FROG! DRACARYS! 🔥🔥🔥”👋🏾🐸

When the human Princess was just a tiny light spec inside the black hole🕳 situated deep in the dark forest 🌲she feared this exact situation, which ultimately kept her in the dark. She feared no one would love her if she didn’t come from a good family, it’s why it took her so long to find more light, but

She knew what this slimy frog was not only wrong but this was all part of a manipulation strategy to make her feel sorry for the Prince and his swampy upbringing. The Prince felt good seeing other lights dim as it made him feel just a little bit brighter, but that is an illusion. The Prince was smart and knew where to hit people where it hurt as he had years of practice hopping all over lotus flowers, but the Princess was smarter as he was not the first dark creature she had crossed paths with, he was nothing new or special. The Princess never asked anyone for help and was so secure with where she sourced her energy💕 that she could only feel empathy for the frog. He may have painfully morphed into something that looked like the face of a Prince, seemed grand riding in his zero-emission carriage, and was blessed with a light-filled castle but he was still stuck in the toxic swamp and he was still a frog and the light he did have was dying because the only source of power that keeps light on is love and he had no love and did not want it because again he was a fairytale Prince. Happiness and a beautiful royal perfect fairytale princess was written into his happily ever after. He had a million pieces of gold. He already had his true love’s kiss moment that he didn’t deserve. So fuck peasants. Fuck humans. Give me him Instagram model.🍑🍑🍑

“Mo Mo Mo Mo.”

For years the Prince searched for happiness. He found a genie to grant him wishes🧞‍♂️, found a witch🧙🏼‍♀️to make him taller, cooked lotus flowers for breakfast🧟‍♀️, accumulated more gold, traveled the world🌍, and after everything he still retreated to the dark, to the swamp, because that was his home and he burnt up all of his light.

The Princess never forgot about the Frog as she did not forget about a really good one hit wonder song. She moved on forever after.☕️🦋

The end.


Moral of the Story, a Whole New World

Listen. Look. Feel while you read📖👀.

Track: A Whole New World, Aladdin New Movie, Sung by Sexy Zayn & Zhavia

The Frog Prince eating off of the Princess’s plate. Drawing by Walter Crane

The original story of The Frog Prince is a warning to women.

It tells women to go against her judgment and obey a man even if he is a frog🐸. It tells women that they need a Prince or they won’t have a happily ever after💔. There was a sequel to The Frog Prince and it was the story of after; after the Princess married the Frog Prince💍. It went something like this, although he looked like a Prince, he still croaked like a frog and sat around all day capturing flies with his tongue. The princess wanted a hero, but he was a frog.

Both the Prince and Princess were unhappy and one day the Prince left the Princess without saying goodbye. The prince believed that if he could turn back into a frog and go back to his swamp that he would be happy. He sought a witch to turn him back into a frog but he got turned into something else, a carriage. He got lucky again, as that spell only lasted until midnight. He realized how lucky he was as a Prince and ran back to the Princess and they lived happily ever after. This ending had no moral because it meant that a man ran away from a woman when he felt sorry for himself and she took him back and somehow they ended up happy?

This is total bullshit. These children stories are why girls grow up and into women’s bodies, but stay little girls on the inside imagining something that will NEVER HAPPEN. So here at The Last Gen we rewrote the story and gave it a moral. The thing is, frogs🐸, real amphibian frogs are spiritual creatures. Frogs live in moist environments and usually come out at night🌙. The most powerful form of hallucinogen, 5MEODMT, is produced from a frog in the Sonora Desert. Some frogs produce deadly venoms; they’re mystical creatures. 👁When one goes on a spirit quest they must see the toad within them and only those who have seen it will understand this statement👁. We think of the frogs as ugly monsters but they experience extraterrestrial human metamorphosis. From an egg to a tadpole, they swim underwater and eventually grow limbs that allow them to walk and breathe on land. What other creature can do this? Once the frog reaches land, it is alone. You will never see a frog traveling with another frog. They stay close to swamps and what also is birthed from a swap? The lotus flower.

Nam myoho renge kyo” is the most powerful and sacred chant in Buddhism. It means,

“I believe in the cause and effect of the lotus flower.”

Imagine when a lotus flower blooms. It blooms out from under from toxic mud and when it’s pedals surface the mudslides off the body of the flower. Toxic waste is impenetrable, it cannot stick onto a lotus flower. The deeper meaning is that something beautiful can be born in the dark and continue to live even in the blackest most poisonous of places. That is Nam myoho renge kyo.

 

 

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