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Bad Witch turns Tall Man Short! Possible suspect, a Blonde Asian with Hair in Her Face

in 30/Almosts/Bitch Be Humble/Swipe by
The Last Generation, the last gen, thelastgen, mel blanchard gong, Melanie, millennial culture, vice, blunt thoughts, apocalypse, travel, magic spell, pumpkin spice, Starbucks, looks fade, shallow Hal, instagram, fake butt, dating, tall men, egos, humility, sex and the city, mr big, heartbreak, the one, rant, trader joes, assholes, unapologetic, bird scooters, tinder, bumble, dating apps, live your best life, liveyourbestlife, single for life, beauty skin deep, ghosted

Imagine if every tall shallow-man-child you knew woke up and was magically turned short for one year. Would they grow into real men? Imagine if short men were tall for a year, would they steam up into asshole lattés☕️ or would they be every single swiper’s dream? If a girl can ask how tall a guy is on an app then a guy has the right to ask what her weight is. Game on.

They come in all shapes and sizes. Their bank accounts will always have a different sum. They drive Mini Coopers, lifted trucks, shiney Mercedes Benz, used Teslas, Ducati’s, fixies, Bird Scooters and prefer a good lease on luxury. A lease is usually favored, you know, so they can trade them in when they wear them out and the miles wrack up. Yes, I’m referring to the overpopulation of assholes. No it’s not just tall men, shorties and woman can be assholes too. I know this because I used to be one. KEEP READING👀

I put a spell on you! Magic Spell to get a Diamond Ring.

in 30/Die Trying/Swipe by
The last generation, the last gen, tlg, Mel Blanchard gong, millennials, culture, American dream, student debt, travel, youth, freedom, zero, 0, imagination, women, engaged, wedding, dream wedding, soulmates, diamond ring, culture, dating, swipe, bumble, tinder, black magic, trick or treat, halloween, witches, fake, harry potter, vice, riot, broadly, writer, medium, art, creative director, hocus pocus, little mermaid, ursula, prince charming, Disney, moral of the story

I put a spell on you and now you’re mine.

Remember when Ariel gave up her voice just to be with Prince Charming; a man she had met once for like a sec? Imagine what his life would have been like without all that crazy bitch drama of octopussy tricks and under the sea treats.

With Halloween approaching and every basic bitch deciding what multiple-Taylor-Swift-personality she wants to mask herself as for one night, everyone is on the hunt to couple up. Bumble announced that since September their user base has risen by 75%. What is it about the cool breeze and smell of pumpkin spice that makes everyone want to couple up? Loneliness? American Hallmark cards? Or is it simply magic? In your early twenties, they say everyone wants to be single in the summer, does that urge apply in your thirties?… maybe for men. KEEP READING👀

Travel 🚀UP↑