A Never Ending Store Window. Are you in?

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Swipe right if you have a million dollars, 100k followers, tight skin, a solid gold vagina, and you'll pay for my dinner. MBA from Harvard required. When 30-something eggs fry up. #undateable

I put a spell on you! Magic Spell to get a Diamond Ring.

in 30/Die Trying/Swipe by
The last generation, the last gen, tlg, Mel Blanchard gong, millennials, culture, American dream, student debt, travel, youth, freedom, zero, 0, imagination, women, engaged, wedding, dream wedding, soulmates, diamond ring, culture, dating, swipe, bumble, tinder, black magic, trick or treat, halloween, witches, fake, harry potter, vice, riot, broadly, writer, medium, art, creative director, hocus pocus, little mermaid, ursula, prince charming, Disney, moral of the story

I put a spell on you and now you’re mine.

Remember when Ariel gave up her voice just to be with Prince Charming; a man she had met once for like a sec? Imagine what his life would have been like without all that crazy bitch drama of octopussy tricks and under the sea treats.

With Halloween approaching and every basic bitch deciding what multiple-Taylor-Swift-personality she wants to mask herself as for one night, everyone is on the hunt to couple up. Bumble announced that since September their user base has risen by 75%. What is it about the cool breeze and smell of pumpkin spice that makes everyone want to couple up? Loneliness? American Hallmark cards? Or is it simply magic? In your early twenties, they say everyone wants to be single in the summer, does that urge apply in your thirties?… maybe for men. KEEP READING👀

The Life of an Unapologetic Asshole & How Nice People Lose… but not always.

in Bitch Be Humble/Die Trying/Inter$t Rate/Swipe by

Think about it. Think about an asshole you know, a true asshole. Where is that person is in their life socially and economically? If you’re thinking of someone and they’re an asshole, then that means you’ve identified something they’ve done to you or to others that’s dickish and fucked up. Good news is you’ve adapted in some way from them, and you’re asshole senses have become more equipped to spot that jackal in disguise. But with every asshole you experience, does it change you? Can we learn from assholes?

What makes an asshole? Another asshole. KEEP READING👀

Look up when you date. Seriously, look up.

in 30/Swipe/Unsatisfied by

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s a real human.

“My dream way to meet my soul mate is on an app,” said nobody, ever.

Oh you don’t believe in soul mates? That’s fine, but let’s not be too cool to admit that you’re looking for that perfect person to match your criteria and check all the boxes. Oh you want someone thin, active, career driven, and jams to your favorite beats too?

Does your neck hurt? Proud of your trim thumbs?

KEEP READING👀

Ghosted.

in Almosts/Swipe by
mel blanchard, thelastgen, the last gen, tlg, the last generation, dating, swipe, tinder, tlg, ghosted, casper, blow off, dating, swipe, bumble, tinder, undateable,

Everyone is disposable when you can swipe in your underwear.

Be a man. What does that phrase even mean? Or man up. The traits associated with being a man come down to bravery. Looking at someone or something for what it is and cutting to the chase. Suggesting to be a man automatically emasculates someone, even a woman. If you’re not a man, then you’re deprived of a certain form of heroism. Why do superheroes where masks in the first place? To shield their identity. If their a regular man, they are no longer super.

KEEP READING👀

Travel 🚀UP↑