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Bad Witch turns Tall Man Short! Possible suspect, a Blonde Asian with Hair in Her Face

in 30/Almosts/Bitch Be Humble/Swipe by
The Last Generation, the last gen, thelastgen, mel blanchard gong, Melanie, millennial culture, vice, blunt thoughts, apocalypse, travel, magic spell, pumpkin spice, Starbucks, looks fade, shallow Hal, instagram, fake butt, dating, tall men, egos, humility, sex and the city, mr big, heartbreak, the one, rant, trader joes, assholes, unapologetic, bird scooters, tinder, bumble, dating apps, live your best life, liveyourbestlife, single for life, beauty skin deep, ghosted

Imagine if every tall shallow-man-child you knew woke up and was magically turned short for one year. Would they grow into real men? Imagine if short men were tall for a year, would they steam up into asshole lattés☕️ or would they be every single swiper’s dream? If a girl can ask how tall a guy is on an app then a guy has the right to ask what her weight is. Game on.

They come in all shapes and sizes. Their bank accounts will always have a different sum. They drive Mini Coopers, lifted trucks, shiney Mercedes Benz, used Teslas, Ducati’s, fixies, Bird Scooters and prefer a good lease on luxury. A lease is usually favored, you know, so they can trade them in when they wear them out and the miles wrack up. Yes, I’m referring to the overpopulation of assholes. No it’s not just tall men, shorties and woman can be assholes too. I know this because I used to be one. KEEP READING👀

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A Social Death: A man obsessed with Facebook, drank a magic potion and died on Facebook.

in Bitch Be Humble/Die Trying by
thelastgen, the last gen, tlg, thelastgen.com, mel blanchard gong, loner, the last generation, christmas, alien , tlg, facebook, social media, trending, fake friends, fakenews, death, als, assisted suicide, funeral, suicide, disease, simple man, mel blanchard gong, john nordlinger, fairytale, happily ever after, millennials, end of the world, generation, twisted, dark, vixen, fantasy

John Nordlinger’s death was the quintessential metaphor of everything that is both right and wrong with the world today. Everyone was his “friend,” but nobody knew him. Without his Facebook friends, he would have died completely forgotten, poor, and many wouldn’t have been able to fulfill their purposes of driving up to Bishop and taking one last selfie with the guy. Before he was dead, his death was trending. KEEP READING👀

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What if: Likes disappeared? Change yourself, change your world.

in Bitch Be Humble/Unsatisfied by
AWESOME,BEAUTY,BETA TEST,BIPPITY BOPPITY BOO,CHANGE,CHANGE THE WORLD,CINDERELLA,EXPERIMENT,FACEBOOK,GENERATION,GLOBAL,GLOBAL IMPACT,IDEAIDENTITY,IMAGINE,INSTAGRAM,LESS IS MORE,LIKES,MAGIC,MEL BLANCHARD GONG,MILLENNIAS,MYSTERY,NARCISSIST,OBSESSION,OLD FASHIONED,PHOTO,POOF,SNAPCHAT,STORY,TECHNOLOGY,THE LAST GENERATION,TLG,UNLIKE,WHAT IF,WORLD PEACE, tlg, willy wonka,freedom,look around, glass slipper, space

Imagine when the clock struck midnight, Cinderella turned around to take a selfie of herself and her shoe on the red grand castle carpet before she had to return her rented dress instead of running? Her prince never would have searched for her, because mystery is everything. There would have been no fairytale to imagine, her Instagram photo would have ruined the moment. Hopefully all the likes she got from her ‘sisters’ were worth it.

Fact: A like is no longer verb, it’s a thing, a noun.

KEEP READING👀

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